Do you ever find yourself wondering how what we do will impact our kids in the long run? Thinking about every wrong mistake we make or the positive reinforcement we give and its everlasting impact is stressful. I grew up going to summer camp. I loved camp! I got married at camp and most of my close friends I met at camp. I remember being homesick my first summer but somehow, my first summer at sleep-away camp turned into 13 summers. To me, going to a camp is one of the most important experiences our children will ever have.
I was meeting with one of my child’s school staff and we were talking about kids trying new things. I was worried that I signed my son up for too many new activity camps. To be specific, I signed him up for 6 different camps. I was worried that he wouldn’t make friends, that he might drown at swim camp, that he’d be too hot at soccer camp, that he’d be too small for basketball camp and a slew of other “mom” fears for their kids. The staff member said to me “why put any of that into the universe.” She was right. We try so hard to do what we think is best for our kids that we drive ourselves crazy in the process. I want my kids to be able to take things in stride, to not take every little thing personally and to not sweat the small stuff.
I know that we need to lead by example so I have been trying to take each day for what it is knowing that, if today wasn’t puppies and rainbows, there will be a new day tomorrow. I have tried to keep my worries at bay and let my son thrive where he is nurtured and struggle in new situations. And you know what, he’s just fine. Our kids are so much more resilient that we, or at least I, give them credit for. This summer, my son got to experience physical and emotional challenges that he struggled with but eventually persevered. We talk about each day and his overall feelings about his summer. Next summer, now that he has tried just about every camp on the planet, he will feel empowered to begin plotting his own future, starting with camp(s).
I want my kids to feel empowered by making thoughtful, informed choices. They can and will learn do this by reflecting on their own experiences and then processing what they feel and do with me and other family members who they know are there to support them.
In my experiences as an educator, I have met some incredible people. When I was trying to reinvent the wheel of creating lesson plan templates, an educator told me that she liked to plan her lessons using the following:
⇒ I Do
⇒ You Do
⇒ We Do
I don’t know that the educator intended her method to be used for anything other than planning her lessons but the implications for this idea expand far beyond the classroom. They can be used to help your kids process their experiences and future decisions.
In my son’s case:
⇒ I signed you up for camp
⇒ You participated to your fullest in every camp experience
⇒ We will discuss what you feel is best and plan next summer’s activities together.